5 Things I'd Tell My Teenage Self

Look at how good the camera is on my new phone!

I know this is slightly different from the normal Friday EBay post but so much has been going on with work and getting my sister moved out and my dog going to the vets I really haven't had time for the blog. However, I'm on a late shift at work so had the morning to do some stuff. So I thought I'd use Friday's post to get a little bit reflective. I'm graduating in 5 days and I've come a long way since then. I've faced bullying, fall outs, self-esteem issues but I feel like I've overcome them and am ready for the next chapter of my life. I have some advice for myself and for anybody who is younger. Retrospect is a wonderful thing and I wish I took this. So for the five days before I'm graduating here's five bits of advice I'd give my teenage self.

Throw Yourself Into Things

I never really got involved in a lot of things as I got older and I really wish I did. I suppose it was because I was afraid of failing. I regret not joining more clubs inside and outside of school and many opportunities had passed me by, especially in writing for certain publications. Whenever I did get involved with something I found myself never fully committing. I was lazy, I made excuses and really i shied away from responsibility. I wish I really involved myself better and became an integral part of things but due to self-esteem and fear of rocking the boat that never happened. Now I'm not afraid to do that, I take on extra responsibility whenever I can but for many years I found it difficult. However, what helped was my R.E ethics class. I'm not religious but the ethical debates of R.E really drew me in and I was one of the top students, getting a prize for the highest score at A.S level (pipped to the post at A-Level). It allowed me to showcase my opinions when the majority of the class was opposed to what I thought and it was amazing to be able to have the confidence to approach these matters without fear of retribution. It helped that I had an amazing teacher who loved me for my opinions and how structured they were but it was this class that I began to understand that throwing myself into things had it's benefits and it helped me to throw myself into things at university and beyond.


Don't be Afraid to Fail

One of my greatest fears as a teenager was failing. Failing at friendships, at exams, at having the wrong opinion, this scared me like no other. It wasn't a pressure that my mum put on me, she just wanted what was best but I put it on myself. It all came to a head when the day I got my results and found out I hadn't the grades to get into Queens and had to go the Ulster on the North Coast. I was heartbroken and I cried, hard. However, I wouldn't change that moment for the world. Coleraine has changed me. It has matured me, I've made great friends, I've learnt how to be an actual adult and take on everything head on, even failure. So to be graduating from it is an honour because without it I wouldn't be the person I am today with a clearer set of goals of where I want to be in life.

Fuck what people think
As most teenagers I cared too much about what other people thought of me. I was quiet and tried to blend in because I didn't want to make a scene especially after being bullied for years. However, I really should have stood up for what I believed in and for what I liked because it made me me. I tried to hard to impress people, changed who I was to fit in when I really should have done what I wanted. Now I have a close knit group of friends who I wouldn't change for the world and who love all of my quirks. I shouldn't have got hung up because there's no point. Not everybody is going to like you but some people will and I should have stuck with those people.

Cry Less and appreciate what you have
I spent a lot of my teenage years crying because I went through a lot. From divorce, bullying, losing a whole friendship group because of one girl lying about me in year 10 it was rough for me. However, I really should have seen the silver lining in all of these events and turned it into a positive, something I've learned to do now. Without the divorce I wouldn't be who I am today, my confidence would have been completely stifled by my father and god knows if I would have gotten any of the experiences my mum gave me. I'm better off without that toxic group of friends. And having this happen to me in a very short space of time proves just how strong an individual I truly am and that's an awesome thing to know. 

Don't drink that bottle of Southern Comfort, it ruins the drink for you.
This one is pretty clear. I got wasted one night at a friend's house part drinking nearly 2 litres of Southern Comfort and Sprite in the process. Understandably that was one of the worst hangovers I've ever had. Its been five years and I still can't drink it and that hurts because it was really tasty, not that I'm a big drinker anymore.